I used to pride myself in being a decent judge of character. One of my spiritual gifts is discernment and in my line of work, it gets exercised regularly. But being able to discern motives and see what drives people doesn't always mean you actually know a person's heart, for only God can know that!
This past week I've had the opportunity to see that truth in action more than once...
My heart has always been to create an atmosphere around me where people can feel comfortable to be themselves. Even though I slip up myself in this area, I hate masks and cliché-ridden conversations and try to enable others to take their mask off by taking mine off.
However, I'm seeing that just enabling others to take of their mask isn't enough; we have to actually create a culture that loves others even while they wear a mask, for behind every mask resides a jewel of a person.
I made a misjudgment about a few people lately, thinking that just because I was getting "the mask vibe" that these people were egotistical and insincere. My sin was passing judgment on the mask instead of making an effort to get to know the person underneath and find out what's going on in their life.
As I get to know people, I'm finding that sometimes the mask I so self righteously "discern" is really a projection on them by my own preconceived ideas. Even though that projection might be based on past experiences with what I think is "that type of person", it's downright cruel to put others under the same mistakes of someone they've never even met!
In fact, by my treatment of them based on my misjudgments, I might actually push them into what I judged them by even if they weren't really that way in the first place.
If that's true, then that means that how we see others actually affects who they will become!
When we create an atmosphere around us that liberates people to be all they can be by reinforcing the good we really do discern in them, we're living true to the character of Jesus.
In the case of the woman caught in adultery, Jesus never once berated her failure or sternly admonished her for her sin; instead he spoke beyond her mask right to the very root of her issues by filling her need for love and affirmation ("Woman, where are your accusers?" "Neither do I condemn you...") and wiping away her past and unlocking her future free of adultery ("Go and sin no more").
No wonder the religious leaders of His time hated him! Why, didn’t' Jesus know that this woman was a home-wrecker? She should be punished for that awful mask she's been wearing!
How is it that while smugly mocking the Pharisee's hypocrisy we have become the very thing we mock?
Could it be that we're making judgments on others just a little too soon?
I hope not, but if my own mistakes in that area are any indication, I'm afraid it's true.
Oh, and the people I judged to be pious gasbags and religious morons? They're actually really cool people who are worth getting to know and build a relationship with! No, they're not perfect and yes, they have a little different style than me, but that's what makes life so colorful and fun!
Comments (11)
Very intriquiging thoughts, Mr. Tentguy! :)
I think it's especially profound to see that Jesus spoke to the lady for who she WAS IN HIM- not who she was because of what she had done.
Some people take the "God looks on the heart" scripture and turn grace into lasciviousness. However, if WE as Christians are able to be the hands, eyes and mouthpeice of God and by his Spirit discern and "look on the heart" instead of the "mask" I think we would be able to turn the world upside down in a matter of days!! :)
What a very, very great post. I always so enjoy reading your thoughts.
God Bless ya. :)
Cass
You never cease to amaze me Mr. Tent guy....Great post!
@SpazzyMommy -
Isn't that cool? Jesus spoke to her as she would be, not as who she currently was and by doing that He pulled her out of the cycle of sin she had been living in.
Let's turn the world upside down then! :D
Thanks so very much for your kind words and encouragement!
@The_Ragged_Edge - Thanks!
I recently judged a couple exchanges in a harsher light than was intended. It was an eye opener for me, when I discussed the matter with the person, to see how my own filters cloud my perceptions at times. Also it was a great lesson on being open and honest can cleanly clarify the air, no matter how insignificant the slight.
I'm really glad to read your openness about seeing differently in this area. I surely have had to adjust my attitudes toward some people as well...
While I think I am pretty good at discerning people's character, I have also learned to make it a habit to WAIT on what I think I see and give the person a chance regardless of what I think.
Sometimes I am perfectly right...and sometimes, while I am right about the person...if I hang around long enough I am also privileged to see the gold that also resides there. :)
But I also have been the recipient of others judging me wrongly and I know what it feels like to struggle to NOT start acting just like they expected me to even though everything in me was not truly that way.
Such a tight rope we all walk...:)
Great post, and one that certainly is very deep and meaningful to all our lives.
I believe that the problem goes much deeper than any of us realize. I personally have found that when dealing weith others, no matter how good my discernment, I am bound to misjudge because all my "knowledge" is based in the past and present. A further problem is that any judgement I make is based with me as the reference point, rather than God and His kingdom. However, as you have insightfully picked up, only Jesus can judge the heart, and also, only He can see the finished result in each of us. (he saw the future of the adultress, not the present or past). Of course, all of this is why God forbid us from passing judgement on each other.
Now, here is a real curve ball I have had to deal with a few times: God may be calling us to work with the very person whom we have very rightly discerned does not have our best interests in mind. I, personnally have only found one solution to this, Asking the Lord to give me His vision and love for those I am dealing with, so that I do not have to operate out of my own perceptions, because vision is never up to the task that God is calling me to. Then, from that perspective, I am able to pray for and even serve my enemies. When I am able to do this, the blessings are two fold. First, I have the joy of serving the Lord in the situation, PLUS, the "enemy" has quickly turned to an ally!.
If only I could remember to always deal with people this way! Maybe, for the rest of today I can though, because you reminded me.
Hello! Just stopping by through Xangaland... Appreciate your posts. They aren't super long, but they have depth.
Elizabeth
A most excellent post, Theron. I cherish the opportunity to experience these life changing events together!
As we look closely at another’s mask, we are actually peering through our own filtering mask. Our gaze must penetrate the two filters; so what registers in our perception is in reality perverted. Upon removal of our own mask, our vision becomes clarified leaving the substance of grace. Our new lucidity provides the proper vehicle to really see into another’s heart, through which the fountain of life of the true person flows.
It resembles the veil hung before the Holy of Holies. As long as it remained hanging, entrance into the presence of Yahweh was prohibited. Jesus’ death ripped that fabric, unveiling direct access to His presence. Jesus Christ is the grace through which we pass to clear our vision.
Matt. 7:1-5 “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.
And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?
Or how can you say to your brother, “Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
So... with our masks comfortably in place, we aren't really the person we think we are. We then proceed to place unreal expectations upon others according to our own image of ourselves. By lifting off the mask, we allow the Lord to visibly position His grace and mercy and compassion into our hearts; consequently, our perception of ourselves as well as of others changes from contortion to grace.
@cdashcroft - Wow Dave! That's some good revelations there too! I'm reminded of why the Lord sometimes allows others in our lives to "use" us or offend us- to give us a chance to pray for them and show HIS love to them! So often we forget and just judge the mask when God is really asking us to dig deeper and love them with His love instead. Good stuff there!
@yahwehgirls - Mama, your insight and revelation never ceases to amaze me. You are so deep! And you're so right about the expectations, thanks for pointing that out. I think I'm going to just expect Jesus to do some really sweet moves and leave all the other expectations at home! ;) Love you.